Where I am Now

I'm in Michigan! What a change from hectic life at home. I really need to slow down more often. Mostly, I've just slept here. Tomorrow is piano moving day - Greg is moving his Dad's baby grand piano to Dunleavy's, a restaurant he's buying soon. Today is nap day, I guess. It was going to be a long run day, but that didn't pan out. I'm still injured from the Timberman Half-ironman in August. Then it was going to be a hike at the old airport day - which I was a little concerned about because it's bow and arrow season.



(I never finished that post but decided to post it anyway).

Timberman 70.3 - August 19th - Yikes!!

I signed up for the Timberman 70.3 (Half Ironman) all the way back in November 2006. My life hasn't been the same since. And now it's really going to happen...THIS WEEKEND!

Doing events are fun, but only if you've put in the saddle time. That's biker talk for getting your training in so the event is not a torture situation.

I've done my saddle time.

I started swim training in January. I hated this. Getting up at dawn o'clock to drag myself to some indoor pool and subject myself to an hour of frustrating laps, never enjoying even one minute of this torture. I started early on swimming because this is the first event of the race and my weakest.

Then came the swim lessons. I'm not sure how many different people "helped" me with my stroke, but it was an all summer quest. It seems like everyone but me can swim and everyone has a different tip. At some point, I switched to Total Immersion Swimming but without a coach, this wasn't as successful as I'd hoped. I also hired a college student I saw teaching a 6 year old last week. He'd never taught an adult so it's not surprising he helped me "wipe the peanut butter" out of my ears for the back stroke and free style, to make my stroke more compact.

Just yesterday, I finally admitted I would probably end up doing the breast stroke instead of freestyle in the actual lake swim (I hate being in the lake with people splashing all around me. What if I drown??) and my new coach (I can't believe I'm still getting swim lessons 4 days from my event) suggested I draw a heart with my hands to improve my breast stroke.

As for running, I do that year around, usually 10 miles every Sunday and shorter runs in between. Still, to speed up my running I focused on weight loss. I lost about 15 lbs using Weight Watchers online. I also pushed through some pretty miserable cold and rainy March days to keep my running mileage up. And in the heat of summer, I ran 14 miles on trails the day after a long bike ride to train my body to run even when tired.

Biking? I started in April and built up from then. Those first horrible days I could barely manage to get over an average of 14 miles an hour. I recorded my first 100+ mile bike rides (in July) and just this weekend, I breezed through a 60 mile ride. No sweat.

I'm ready. My only serious worry - aside from drowning in the lake swim or being the last person out of the water is my heel. I have plantar faccitus and it hurts when I bike but especially when I run. I've got it taped and hope that caries me through.

Now I've just got to focus on getting my stuff together, get to New Hampshire, and do it. Zen.

My First 100 Mile Bike Ride

On Sunday, July 15th, I rode 103 miles from my home in Reston through the rolling Virginia horse-country and back. It was one of those days I'll remember for a long time.

I overslept my original plans and kept 3 people waiting - 2 left without me. Neil waited patiently with a bad brake. By the time I finally started, it was well into morning - 8:00 am instead of the planned 6:30 am - and bikers/runners/walkers were already out on the W&OD trail in droves.

On the Reston to Leesburg leg of the trip, I stopped to chat with a man named Frank Bowls who I saw taking pictures of a now vacant property where in the 80's when I biked this same trail I used to see an old woman who lived in a dilapidated shack with a large colony of cats. That woman turned out to be his grandmother and he recounted how as a child he used to take the train that was once the W&OD rail instead of a bike path to Leesburg. I barely understood his heavy North Carolina accent, but enjoyed his input.

After Leesburg, we followed the Reston Century (a 100 mile bike event held in August) arrows away from the W&OD trail and into the country side. In Purcellville we stopped at bike shop for water and asked for directions to follow the Reston Century route since arrows were not always present. Though we somewhat followed the directions, we ended up making our own route based on chatting with locals along the way.

I love the names of the roads we biked on: Hamilton Station Road, Snickersville Turnpike. Berlin Turnpike. We stopped at a small country store - not sure where exactly - and drank a coke on the porch while reading aging posters and window signage. We rode past old country farms, horse farms, and newly built mansions. The Blue Ridge Mountains were ever-present in the horizon and the numerous hills attested to our proximity to the mountains.

We stopped in Lovettesville for lunch. Lovettesville is a town in transition. Newer housing developments are cropping up but it appears that the real estate "bust" may have stalled sale of homes and so the lots are cleared, the streets realigned, the traffic patterns changed and awaiting new traffic but no houses have been built.

Our route from Lovettesville to Purcellville was on a major road - 55 miles an hour speed limit - and I feared for my life most of the way. As a result, I cranked up my speed to an amazing average of 17 miles per hour that included going up steep hills. I was tense all the way and couldn't wait to get to a more bicyle-friendly area.

Once back to Purcellville, we picked up the W&OD and headed home. I arrived home around 6:30 pm. It was a long day - the bath and Salmon dinner that followed delightful.

July 4th

On July 4th, it's usually hot and muggy in DC. This year it was very pleasant, low-humidity, cloudy enough to block the hot sun but not dreary.

To celebrate, I rode my bike to an unknown destination with my friend Neil. It was hands-down the best ride of the season. We rode first to Leesburg, an historic town established in 1758 but now a thriving and growing metropolis, probably soon to be considered a DC Suburb. Our trail crossed their main street Independence Day parade. Leesburg is about 23 miles from my house. After Leesburg, we forged ahead to Waterford, another historic town - much, much smaller than Leesburg - and I think established in 1733. They too were having their town parade, where I made a huge social blunder that will not be revealed at this time.

In Waterford - note to other cyclists: no refreshments available - we chatted with a friendly 4th-of-July-traffic guy who told us about a 17 mile loop that would bring us back to Waterford after traversing a road named Taylorstown that "would kill us." I thought he was referring to the hills - which were numerous - but later realized he was probably referring to the apparent pickup-truck-cyclist-road-rage. Really, I felt I was pre-road-kill for most of the ride.

Another thing that was scarey was the hills. I'm not happy about going up them, but seriously, I'd much rather go up a hill than down a hill. I clocked 30 miles an hour on my computer at one point. It just feels out of control to go any faster.

After out loop we headed back to Leesburg for lunch - new place "Fire Works", serving Fire baked pizzas or something like that. Strange that one of only 2 places open in Leesburg actually sounded like the events for the day. I snapped the picture of the umbrella over our table with my cell phone. After lunch, I was ready for a nap but still had to get home.

Total mileage: 74 miles Total Calories Burned: 5938

May Day

More on this later...

Menopause?

I can't stand being me right now. Everyone around me seems more rational and has their life together and mine seems fractured and complicated. My parent's lives and needs are a great part of mine. My business is demanding. My personal life is failing. I feel like I'm suffocating.

On Being Different

We have this interesting old goose on our lake- Pang-Pang - who by all accounts has lived here forever. I know for certain he's lived here for 10 years because that's how long I've lived here.

As for where he came from, I have no idea. I picture his former owners skulking up to the lake in the middle of the night and dropping him off. I know he didn't fly here - he can't fly more than to flap his wings as he skims the lake surface.

He has no others of his kind here. In the past few years I've seen him keeping company with the mutant, injured, and rejected Canadian geese. When I first met him, he had a harem of white mutant Pekin Ducks, but they've since died.

Pang-Pang always seems the saddest in the spring. All the other geese and ducks do whatever geese and ducks do to find mates and poor Pang just honks his mournful melody without so much as a soft honk back from a prospective mate.

It reminds me of my mother. Lately she's been crying in the morning because she has no friends. What she says is, "I just want to be like everybody else," or "nobody wants to talk to us." I don't know what to say or do to help her. Her old friends stopped calling long ago. She can't carry on a conversation because she can't find words to fill the spaces in a sentence. We've signed her up for twice weekly all-day care at the Alzheimer's Day Center so she can have friends "like her." But that doesn't seem to fill the void.

The best I can do is watch sadly from the side as my mother and Pang-Pang seek someone like them so they don't have to be alone.

Evening of the Day

"All I hear is the sound of rain falling on the ground.."

What a world we live in.

10-Mile Slog

I overslept my running club's 10-mile run today so decided to create one of my own. This was not one of those days I was eager to get outside. In fact, I was downright anxious. Why? It was 44 degrees, raining, overcast - let's face it, bone-chilling miserable.

I made it slightly more inviting by creating my own little biosphere. The challenge to runners when going farther than 3-5 miles is choosing the right clothes. There is no chance of staying dry on a rainy day, so one wants simply to stay warm - but not too warm. My rainy day outfit always includes a baseball cap. Other than that, it all depends on the temperature. Today I chose well, except I should have added gloves (a winter coat, rainproof jacket, wool hat, umbrella, waterproof boots, indoor treadmill, etc..).

My waterproof ipod, with new surround sound earphones, and Garmin Forerunner GPS completed the illusion of an enjoyable training date with myself. I found the miles adding up on my wrist, along with the personal music selections drumming in my ears, somewhat numbed me to my actual miserable circumstances.

To give my run a purpose outside of training, I worked on staying present-focused. What I noticed along my run were tons of displaced earth worms, puddles of murky sidewalk water, the cherry blossom pedals giving way to green leaves, the daffodils in varying stages of display and death, and the general beginnings of winter brown giving way to spring green.

While I tried to go a full 10-mile route - logging as many miles far from home as possible to prevent short-cutting - I ended up at mile 9 very close to my house and too cold and wet to add another lake loop. The map below shows my actual route as recorded by my Forerunner (during the first 1/2 mile my forerunner couldn't locate the satellite).

And this is the link to my entire route on Motion-based.com: My 10-Mile Slog

Dogs Away - Cats will Play

Wordless in Reston - My T.V. Debut

Today our company, DogOn Fitness taped a segment about Dog Fitness for a local Reston T.V. spot. Lesley and I shared the stage with a former client and now business owner, Steve, who runs Performance Dogs.

While this seemed like an excellent marketing opportunity when first presented, I found myself in the grips of full-blown stage-fright by the time taping began. Since I'd already expected this reaction, I'd tipped the ever-confident and chatty Lesley off in advance, "if he asks me a question and I don't say anything, please take over."

Fortunately Lesley is never at a loss for something to say. She maneuvered her way around questions like a pro, whether or not they were directed at her.

I probably should have been more assertive from the start...when I was finally able to utter something coherent, I'd no more than open my mouth before Lesley charged in to finish.

Our show airs 4 times this month - the first one this Wednesday night. But I'll have to watch it on DVD - I just found out I don't even get this station.

Finding Shark's Teeth in Paradise

Greg's mother died last week. I only visited her a few times a year over the past 20 years; still, my world seems off-balance without her in it.

At the moment, I'm sitting in her condo in Florida on vacation. She knew about this trip and so it feels as though she's provided input to it. Some other trip she won't join us. But not this trip.

This trip I'm surrounded by her life. Hats, keys, business cards, books all exactly where she left them when she was last here. The bath towels are neatly folded on a shelf in her closet, bath powder waiting for its next use. A half-used bar of soap is still in the shower. It's been a trip for remembering.

My favorite day was yesterday. After a leisurely morning, we drove to Englewood Beach and met up with my friend, Nancy. There we sat on the beach collecting shark's teeth hidden amongst the broken sea shells scattered on the beach.

The thing about shark's teeth is this: the more you look, the easier they are to spot. And the more you find, the better you feel. I'm not sure why this is, but it's a Zen-like experience. They're like little treasures that make you richer for finding them.

So we collected teeth and talked and watched the morning slip into afternoon. Nancy entertained us with ASL (American Sign Language) trivia and then left to go to Tampa for a party.

After Nancy left, we walked to Stump Pass. Stump Pass is a mile-long state park with no buildings other than restrooms. Seeing this untouched shoreline, one can imagine the world before highrises and beach homes.

Greg's mother once sat on this beach in the middle of winter and painted a picture of herself in a chair looking down the untouched shoreline. That oil painting has hung in her living room in Michigan for as long as I can remember. I always wondered why she 'd painted herself in the picture - she'd never liked to be photographed.

Standing there yesterday, discovering a place I'd never been that she loved to go, I think I finally understood.

10-Mile Blog

This morning I used my newly purchased Garmin Forerunner 305 on my club 10-mile run. This device is so cool, I can't even begin to explain its features (which is to say, I have no idea what it can do). For example, I walked around the lake where I live with my Forerunner 305 on, and it literally recorded every turn. You can overlay your path onto Google Earth, and see exactly where you're stepping, right down to when you bypass an object, such as a tree or detached squirrel tail. Really..it's that detailed.

You can also use the accompanying software to setup training schedules. This works for me. Each year I pick some new training method and this year decided on Zones. I'm talking about Heart Rate zones which are usually depicted in 5 ranges that are percentages of your maximum heart rate.

According to Sally Edwards (random source), the new Mathematical Formula for finding your Maximum Heart Rate is 210 minus 1/2 your age minus 1% of your body weight plus 4 (for males). This formula bores me. It looks too much like high school math. Fortunately Sally and I are about the same age and weight so I snagged her data for my initial Max H.R. reading. I later adjusted it to match my actual Max (187) using one of Sally's suggested methods.

To be brief, my Zone 1 (50-60% of my Max H.R.) is 93.5 - 112.2 BPM (beats per minute). To achieve this, I think I'd have to stand still or even walk backwards. Today I chose to train in Zone 3 (70-80% of Max H.R.), which is the Aerobic Zone - supposedly reached by "running easy". I won't go into the benefits of this zone, but one is a bigger heart.

The map of my run on this page was created using my GPS Forerunner and GPS Visualizer. Those blue marks are me. The Pink Balloon is the start point and end point. Today's run had a lot of backtracking (wherever a dead-end appears). The weather was about 30 degrees with a strong wind AND the course was hilly. Here's what happened:

Mile 0: I'm late. I see everyone taking off down the path. I try to catch-up, but in my haste, I apparently forget to set the Heart Rate Zone buzzer on my GPS.

Mile 0.4: Every one's disappeared from view. I have no idea where to go.

Mile 0.5: Whew! - there's Anna, a familiar face, running toward me. She explains that I've missed a turn and describes a short-cut that will lead me to runners heading toward me, so I can turn around and resume the course (first dead end on the map).

Mile 0.6: Success! I've found the group and turn around with them, running easily with several people who are known to run my pace.

Mile 4.9: I'm way ahead of everyone in my pace group. I can't believe I'm running so fast and my heart rate buzzer hasn't warned me I'm out of zone. I forgot my contacts and can't see the small H.R. number on my Forerunner so have no idea what my Heart Rate is.

Mile 5.3: Water stop. I quickly check my Forerunner, and sure enough my Zone is not set to buzz. I correct this problem and am welcomed with a buzzing message "heart rate too low" (this means I need to go faster).

Mile 5.8: Buzz. Too fast. I start walking. I pass a guy walking backwards ahead of me. He must be training in Zone 1.

Mile 6.1: Buzz. Too slow. I start running really, really slowly.

Mile 6.8: Buzz. Too fast. This can't be right. I'm practically walking. My pride is also getting to me because runners that were ahead of me are now coming back my way and I'm walking instead of running. I CAN run, I feel like telling them, but I'm training.

Miles 7.0 - 9.2 Buzz - Buzz - Buzz - Buzz (Shut UP!!)

Mile 9.2: The start point is in sight. Normally this would be the end of my run - logged as 10 miles - but, can't cheat the Forerunner! So I pass the start point and add the missed mileage from the beginning to round out my run to 10 miles.

Today's run - following the zone method - took my 2 hours!!

Short and Sweet

No picture this time. I'm getting ready to go swimming and will probably do the drill workout my half-ironman "Team Pink" workout buddies have been given by their coach. My friend, Nancy has lost something like 19 lbs on Weight Watchers and she's inspired me to sign-up again. So on Monday, I paid my dues for a month online and have been diligently following the Flex Plan since. I love signing on and tracking my points - I especially like adding my activity points. For my swim, for example, I'll get 5 activity points. Really makes any exercise more fun - almost like I'm getting paid for it.

After my swim, I'll check the day's plans which will undoubtedly include some dog walking activities.

Time on the Ceiling

My friend Nancy in Florida sent me an atomic projection clock that arrived with yesterday's mail. They were on sale at Walgreens and since I'd admired hers last month, she decided to buy me one. I was so excited to try it, I opened the package right away.

This one came with a remote wireless temperature sensor that I can put outside - I'll figure that out when I find some AAA batteries. I set the clock up last night before I went to bed (I had to read some instructions to get it right) so I could wake up to the time projected on my ceiling. I planned to run this morning at 7:00 am and so thought this new clock would facilitate my waking up on time. I should add that I don't like alarm clocks - it work's for me to just "know" I have to be awake at a certain time and then I use the visual time as a reference for whether or not I have to awaken fully or not.

Once I was comfortably in bed with the lights out (you can't see the time with the lights on), I gazed up at the ceiling to check the time. It read, "uud 18:01". Huh? Oh jeez, I'd set it up so the time was projected upside down. While this was annoying, I was too far into sleepland to fix it.

This turned out to be a huge mistake:

"uub 08:1": Still awake and half-dreaming. I feel like I'm late for some event, but I'm not really sure what.

"uub 5h:t": Still awake - I think I should get up and fix the clock. I can't stop thinking about what time it is. If I keep going like this, I won't be able to get up to run.

"uub 15:h": Still awake. I'm not going to run - haven't slept all night. Can't figure out what time it is.

"uub bh:5": Just dozed off, but now the phone is ringing. It's my mother and I've forgotten I promised to dress her for her day at the Center. "I'm sorry, I overslept." (What time is it anyway, I wonder?) "It's almost 6:00," her caregiver tells me a few seconds later over the line.

Okay - gotta get up. Dress for the run. Get my mother dressed. Get coffee. Fix the clock.

So I made it to everything on time.... thanks to my new atomic clock.

Sunday Night

I went to my running club's Annual Meeting and Party last night. I didn't feel like going- I was still in the last throws of my cold - but I'm glad I did. I've been a member for 8 years. During that time, I've been a newbie, a web master, a board member, and an injured member, amongst other things. Last night I realized how much I truly enjoy this group of familiar people. We've all been through the same ups and downs.

It's always fun to socialize with this eclectic group. We have diplomats and AOL millionaires, and orthopedic surgeons, nurses, lawyers, a lot of self-employed consultants, retirees, moms and dads and grandparents, and college students, army officers, liberals, conservatives, founding members, new members and more.

More later.

Two Journal Entries - August 1982

I make no excuses for my journal entries from a past life. They just are.

Untitled
Exploding with energy,
only
the effort makes
everything worth thinking
about -
Here in my secret world,
it's the unobtainable that makes
me endlessly
ecstatic.

The Prose Writer
The prose-writer scribbles a million moments to an instant in a word, drawing everything that is or was to a lifetime in a second.

The Flu

I kind of like being sick. My energy level is so low, I have no choice but to slow down. The world seems like a distant bubble of activity that I'm not a part of and it's easy to focus on what's important and what's not.

I can get to the important things.

Afterwards, off to bed in the middle of the day - and sleep and I love my humidifier with Vicks Vapor Rub fumes (that I can't smell but can feel).

Today's important things:
Paychecks, dogs that need exercise, culling through more potential new hires.

Later...
Day's end finds me dragging my feet and eyelids and eager to slip off to bed at 3:30 pm. I'm thinking about taking my computer with me to watch "An Inconvenient Truth." Amy loaned it to me and wants it back.

So off I go.

Training - Day 3

Training Day 2 was:
5:30 am - Gym (didn't go)
7:00 am - 5 mile run (didn't go)

Instead, I ran with dogs - totalling more than 5 miles.

Now it's 8:45 am and Training Day 3 holds more dogs in the horizon. I hope to take a break to get to the gym, but it's not likely.
I snapped this picture yesterday when I was walking dogs around the lake. It's the boat ramp where the Reston Triathlon starts. I stared at this spot for a few seconds and thought about what it would be like to start the triathlon in this weather and that's pretty much how I feel about my training!

2:41 pm: After just finding out on Friday that our heavy-hitting Falls Church dog exerciser and manager had taken another job (as of Friday!), today we learned our other reliable and heavy hitting exerciser in Reston has decided to flee back to corporate life. This is what I hate about this business, the never-ending staff rotation. These cycles are exhausting because inevitably I'm tripling my workload - adding into the mix the hiring and training of new people as well as actually being out with dogs all day.

Dinner and Beyond

My dinner - it's not how it tastes, but how it looks that counts: Salad topped with grilled portobello mushroom fingers, wasabi coated wild salmon, twice-cooked seasoned new potatoes.

My life: Still working on DogOn Fitness and it's 8:22 pm. Owning my own business - especially one that deals in customer service - is a lot of work. Usually I enjoy it - but sometimes it's wearing. We are constantly having to hire new people. Our Falls Church manager left us (needed to support his family on a better salary) and created a huge gap that I'm trying to fill. And now I've noticed we need people all over because suddenly I'm out with the dogs again. I prefer to run the business to running dogs. So I've put an ad on Craig's list and am starting that process all over - reading through a bunch of email ad responses and responding to likely candidates of which 1/3 will write back - what do they do, wake up and change their minds? I don't get it.

Maybe 2 will interview and I might hire one. I'm very picky and sometimes people decide the job is not for them after doing it once or twice. One person, I'll call her Emily Ozar - okay, that's her real name - went through training and took dogs out on her own once. She was scheduled to take more dogs and never came back, called, emailed, responded to calls or emails, nor ever contacted us again. Weird.

Training - Day 1

I decided to get more serious about my training today. It's so easy to get lazy in the winter. But with so many events looming in my future, I thought I better get started.

Some of my friends who are doing the same Half-Ironman as I in August (Timberman) hired a trainer who has them on schedule. This makes me panic, which is why I'm getting going and which is why I decided to follow their swim drill today. This is what it is (from memory):
10-minutes warm-up
8X50
1. Left arm down - swim back
2. Right arm down - swim back
3. Fists down - swim back
4. Catch-up down - swim back
6x75 Freestyle (I think) <-- Why doesn't he just say 9 laps ?
4X50 anything but freestyle
4x25
1. both legs kick
2. Kick Left side
3. kick right side
4. Kick back
Cool Down 10 minutes
This was supposedly 3/4's of a mile - I was in the pool longer than when I swim a mile though..something like 55 minutes. And, I honestly have no idea what I was supposed to do. Their were 20-second rests mentioned all over the sheet, which I took to mean in-between drills, but now think they must go in-between sets of laps. Also, I have no idea what a "fists down" swim is (I just swam freestyle with fists instead of my hands open) and thought I would never get across the pool on the last 4X25's. Just kicking with no other help is the most inefficient swim I've ever done. Maybe I should have employed a kick board??? I cut those short actually because it was taking too long to get across the pool.

That's it for my start of training. Tomorrow? Gym then running.

Off to lunch and the doggies.

The McIntosh's Cat

I didn't sleep very well last night. I kept thinking about my mother and her cat. She's been worried to the point of tears about her cat's family. I can't figure out why she's so anxious and no matter what I tell her, she's only temporarily satisfied. I decided last night I would write her a letter from the cat's family.

As I spun through what I'd write in the letter, I remembered a short story I wrote when I was 6, the McIntosh's Cat. It went something like this: "'Look' said Ann Brooks, 'there goes the McIntosh's cat.' 'It is a good cat' said Mother. 'It is a very good cat' said Ann Brooks."

I wrote that story around the time my mother remarried and changed her name to Brooks. My sister and I were stranded with the name McIntosh, which had no relation to anyone we knew, so I imagine my cat story was communicating some of my confusion about those times.

I wonder if my mother is feeling the same things?

"Dear Ruth - Aunt Carol says you're taking good care of Kitty Kat. We are so happy you've taken her in as your own family. We will not be able to come see her because we live a long way from your house. You are a very good person and we know Kitty Kat is safe with you. Love, the McIntosh's"

Waking up on Saturday on Water's Edge Lane

Okay, first of all, I hate my neighbor Tim. I know that sounds unneighborly. But he's a constant reminder of all the things I'm not. This morning, for example, he woke me up banging doors on his hasty exit to the Reston Runners Saturday run. I'm convinced he was deliberately showing me up.

By the time his car pulled out of the lot (I heard that too), I already knew what Tim was thinking: Carol's a fat, back-of-the pack sloth. He knew I was hunkered down in my warm blankets, only dreaming of running. He was probably smirking at my transgressions. Runners are like that and I was certain Tim was rushing to get out so he could announce to the whole club that I was still in bed

By this time, I was so worked up about Tim's going to the run, I decided I may as well get up myself and consider putting in some mileage.

That's all I feel like writing about my morning. Tim will be 50 on Monday.

Selling My Bat on eBay

The other day I cleaned out my jewelry box, a childhood gift from my mother and respository of saved things forever. Inside, aside from jewelry, I found a treasure-trove of important life moments: my learners permit; my college ID card; my Brownie Fly-up wings; my Summer Camp friendship necklace; my best-friends ring from Jackie; an envelope with a snippet of hair and a note, "I licked this when I was 10"; a card once taped to my dormroom door, "Run Babe, Trip"; and a fluff of fur from my cat Puffins.

And then there's the Bat. I made it when I was 8 with a Mattel Creepy Crawler Set I got for my birthday. I loved that toy. I used to crank-out artfully made creepy things to sell to strangers. I don't think anyone ever bought one and if they did, I'm sure my mother made me give their money back. She never really appreciated my entrepreneurial spirit.

So I decided to sell my Bat on eBay and see if there are any takers. I think my 8-year old self would appreciate my efforts and support. I've specifically added a NO RETURN policy to my listing and started the bidding off at a much higher price than my mother would approve of. I think it's worth it.

View from Here

After I finish this blog entry, I'm going to start cleaning up the mess I call my life. Everything seems broken, missing, or disorganized. None of my Microsoft Office applications work; I have closets full of clothes I haven't worn since the 90's, most of what's behind doors or in drawers is a clutter of stuff I've forgotten I own.

This worries me because I wonder if this is an early sign of dementia. My mother is so busy cluttering up her life, I feel tired and drained being around her. Her stuff fills the spaces in my life too. And then there's the clutter of dead relatives lives - - all this bad energy.

Also, today I need to get serious about training for all the ambitious events I've committed to in 2007:

• the National Marathon in March
• Cherry Blossom in April
• Timberman Half-Ironman in August.

Yikes!

Lazy Saturdays

I crave a blissfully uneventful morning of crossword puzzles, coffee, cooking shows, and calm. When did Saturday stop being a lazy weekend day? When was there ever enough time in the world to spend moments of a day doing nothing?

I haven't figured out whether time speeds up when there is little left to wonder about, the moments of a day slipping by unattended, or if its our rapidly changing world that accelerates time for everyone.

Whatever the matter, time seems too precisous to waste on a single insignificant thing.

Friends From the Past

The phases of my past life shift in and out of each other; My twenties. My college years. My Memphis days. At the time, it never seems that any phase is happening at all, just muddling through ordinary life. Then something triggers a memory - the location, people, music, smells, or other transient events from that period - and a phase is born.

My friend, Bev, is visiting from Memphis. I guess she's from my "Memphis Phase", though she really wasn't a part of my time outside of work. In my "Memphis Phase" I moved from my 30's to 40's, started a more deliberate exercise routine, was actively involved in the emergence of online communication and text messaging on a regular basis (since I had few friends in Memphis and not much to do), lost much that was close to me, found and rescued many, many stray dogs and cats.

This all comes back to me in waves.

Way Past Bedtime

I was just winding down into PJs and a book when my phone rang - my parent's neighbors calling that my father had been yelling for an hour. I rushed up in my PJs to see what the matter was - my dad had fallen getting into bed and was on the floor. Poor dad. My mother was helpfully telling him to stop yelling. She's been waiting for her cat's family to come get her (I'm not sure if the cat's family is feline or not or why they are coming to get her). What a nightmare my dad's life must seem to him.
It was a struggle to get my dad off the floor and into bed.

That's it. Now to bed for sure. 11:31.

Morning Coffee

It's almost 9:30 am and all I've done this morning is Google searches on "DogOn Fitness". I found some interesting references but also discovered my pay-per-click Google ad is being placed on pages generated by Web-Crawlers for the purpose of earning money from clicks. No wonder the monthly Google bill is so high without much business generated from Google.

Here are some of the legitimate links I found:
http://petcentric.com/article.aspx?C=0&OID=92

http://www.chatgoldens.com/forums/showthread.php?t=13733

http://wwwthepeoplepro.blogspot.com/ (scroll down to find DogOn Fitness).

Time to get ready for doggies.

Snowy Day

It took me a while to figure out how to sign-on to this blog since establishing an account 3 months ago. I feel like my life is ruled by user-ids and passwords. How much time do I waste trying to recover these things?

A good invention: a device that holds all this info but can only be accessed with a thumb impression. Better, this device connects to a computer and once you've supplied your thumbprint, will automatically log-in to appropriate accounts.

Today I was out with Dan, the writer-to-be, walking Beau, a yellow lab. We talked about how keeping a journal could make a book a reality so I've decided to start keeping up with my journaling.

Thanks Dan.

By the way, I loved the JFK-50 and finished in 11 hours. I'll definitely do it again.